


Haughtstuff and Awesomesauce

by KarenIverson



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 10:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarenIverson/pseuds/KarenIverson
Summary: A series of one shots revolving around #WayHaught cuz... they're the best!





	1. Haught on a Horse

**Author's Note:**

> From a Twitter prompt requesting Nicole on a Horse
> 
> I haven't ridden a horse in a long time.
> 
> There aren't a lot of tornadoes where I'm from (three hours north of Purgatory) and I have no idea what to do with your horse when one comes. So feel free to let me know.
> 
> If you want to comment some prompts here or find me on Twitter at @chaotic_cold, I'd appreciate it!

Tornadoes were fairly unusual in the Ghost River Triangle, so when Environment Canada issued a tornado warning with a high chance of a funnel cloud touching down near the homestead, Nicole and Wynonna both bolted out of the Sheriff's office. They ran in unison to Nicole's cruiser, Wynonna trying to raise Waverly and then Doc without success on the cell phone. Nicole drove hell bent for leather out of town, spewing gravel furiously as the skies turned from ominous grey to eerie green. The clouds started to swirl in front of them.

Wynonna's ring tone "Tell That Devil" scared them both. "Gus! There's a tornado coming. Do you know where Waves is?"

"Waverly's down by the creek. She's not answering her phone."

"What about Doc?"

"He dropped by for some fencing supplies. Said he was going to fix the hole at Drifter's Corner."

"Shit" Wynonna said as she hung up.

"What?" Nicole said, continuing to speed toward the homestead.

"Get us to Gus'. We'll have to split up. Do you know where Drifter's Corner is?"

"Nope, never heard of it."

"Shit. How about the creek? Where the swimming hole is?"

"Yeah I know that."

"Please god tell me you can ride a horse."

"It's your lucky day Wynonna." Nicole answered as she pulled into Gus' driveway and did a quick J turn on the gravel.

"Freddie's in the barn. He's friendly to everyone but me. Mutual distaste and all that. Cut across the back field and go left at the fence. I'll take the car and find Doc. Meet up at the homestead, if you can."

"Deal! Be careful!" Nicole shouted over the rising winds as she passed Wynonna coming around the front of the car.

Wynonna slammed the car into gear and almost took out the mailbox as she fishtailed around the corner. Nicole raced furiously into the barn as the winds started to howl. Gus was already in the barn, Freddie bridled up and was running down to the tack room for the saddle.

"There's no time for that!" Nicole yelled, slowing down to approach Freddie from the front where he could see her. She made comforting noises as she let him smell her hand while she untied the reins. "Let's go get Waverly." Nicole would later swear Freddie's ears picked up and he stood perfectly still upon hearing Waverly's name. She swung up onto his bare back and squeezed her legs against his sides.

Well trained, Freddie took off at once as Nicole aimed through the back gate towards the left hand side of the field. The wind continued to grow, pelting Nicole's face with dirt and the clouds out in front of her continued to swirl. Nicole gave Freddie plenty of rein as she urged him to go faster.

Nicole's heart dropped when she got to the swimming hole and didn't see her girlfriend. "Waverly!" she screamed but the storm was howling and sucked the word right out of her mouth and into oblivion. She crossed the creek and headed up the other bank, feeling an immense wave of relief crash over her as she saw Waverly a hundred yards away and running as best she could towards the homestead. The wind was strong enough that Waverly had to bend double to keep going and surely didn't see the funnel cloud forming off to the right. But Nicole did and perhaps Freddie did too as he immediately took off into a smooth gallop at the barest touch of Nicole's heels, making a beeline for Waverly.

Perhaps Waverly felt the pounding of Freddie's hooves, or possibly it was coincidence, but as Nicole got close, Waverly turned around and held up her arm. Freddie slowed a bit, Nicole reached down, they locked forearms and Waverly swung up behind Nicole. Sensing the extra weight had landed on his back, Freddie picked up speed and headed unerringly towards the homestead.

Pulling up at the fence, Waverly and Nicole jumped down. Nicole took Freddie's bridle off and he trotted into the pasture away from the rapidly forming funnel cloud. Waverly opened the root cellar door and turned to check on Nicole's progress. She could see the funnel cloud change course, aiming directly for them.

"Nicole!!!" Waverly screamed. There's no way Nicole heard her, but the expression on Waverly's face was loud and clear. She peeked over her shoulder, saw the funnel and ran even faster.

Waverly scrambled down the steps and Nicole came immediately after, slamming the door shut behind herself. She wrapped her arms around Waverly and crowded them into the corner, placing herself between Waverly and the door and protecting her girlfriend with her body.

The wind rose to a deafening crescendo and the root cellar door shook furiously. Nicole could feel Waverly breathing unevenly against her chest but if she was saying anything, Nicole couldn't hear it. She kissed the top of Waverly's head softly as the thought crossed her mind, if it was her time to go, then there was no better way to check out than with Waverly Earp in her arms. Waverly must have been having similar thoughts as she turned her face up, wrapped her arms around Nicole's neck and pulled her into a determined kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, and went on forever, perfect in it's intensity. Waverly's hands found their way under the hem of Nicole's shirt and were stroking up Nicole's sides with obvious intent.

Nicole's moans filled the silence in the cellar, and they both pulled back as the absence of the wind finally cut through the fog of desire currently clouding rational thought. They grinned like idiots at each other as the cellar door was ripped open and Wynonna's face appeared. "You two going to stay down there forever?"

Coming up into the yard, they were pleased to see the funnel cloud had missed the homestead, destroying a large swath of the barley crop but leaving everything else intact. Freddie was waiting patiently at the fence as Doc brought a bucket with some grain in it out of the barn.

"You two okay?" Wynonna asked, pulling Waverly into a big hug.

"Better than okay," Waverly said. "Being rescued by Haughtstuff on a horse is the kind of thing dreams are made of!"


	2. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you are scared to feel anything? Nicole has issues following a car crash.
> 
> (Also there is no goo and Lucado is alive because I say so)
> 
> Trigger warnings at the end

To paraphrase Waverly, night shift was balls. Nicole never used to hate it, she loved the idea of watching over her people and keeping them safe while they slept. But then Waverly Earp came into her life and eventually into her bed. Now she hated night shift with a passion that had previously been reserved for man-boys and khakis. They were each asleep when the other was awake and only had a few hours in the evening to share or even less if Wynonna was around.

Although they’d had lots of warning about the approaching snow storm, the weather reports had grossly underestimated its severity. With a storm this bad, it was important to ensure no motorists were stranded in areas with poor cell reception. Nicole was on her way to one of the farthest and least populated areas of the county. If it wasn't for the fact that SR 290 was an efficient shortcut from the Big City into the next province, this road wouldn't see any traffic.

The cruiser's thermometer said it was -17C outside but it was warm enough in the cruiser with just her light down uniform jacket on. Nicole’s heavy duty parka, regulation toque and gloves were ready on the passenger seat. The storm was turning out to be a real bitch. White out conditions alternating with periods of slight visibility. Nicole was creeping along as she neared Extinction Corner. Without the benefit of visual landmarks, she wasn't sure how close she was. As an off-camber, blind corner on a gravel road; it was the site of numerous crashes throughout the year, car against car, or wildlife or even tree. The province had increased the number and size of the warning signs but sometimes people, especially locals who should know better, were just stupid. Nicole reached over and turned off the stereo, needing all her attention to discern where the road ended and the ditch began.

Rounding Extinction Corner, the head lights caught the barest glint of a tail light deep in the ditch. Flipping on the cruiser's roof lights Nicole brought the car to a stop. The red and blue lights made the falling snow into a disco ball as she reached for the dash mounted radio.

"Dispatch, this is Haught. I have an overturned vehicle in the ditch at Extinction Corner. Red Jeep on.." Panic flooded Nicole's system as adrenaline surged and icy tongues of fear clutched at her heart. 

"Waves! Waves!" Nicole screamed into the wind as she slid across the icy road. Her entire body was numb. All she could focus on was getting to the vehicle. Sliding into the waist deep ditch snow, her brain finally registered the personalized license plate read "Cindy". Pulling out her mini-flashlight, Nicole fought her way through the snow until she could peer under the vehicle's body. A pale arm and the head of the driver appeared in the small circle of illumination.

"Hello? Deputy Haught, Purgatory Sheriff Department. Can you hear me?" The fingers of the arm twitched briefly followed by a moan. Nicole keyed her shoulder mounted mike frantically.

"Dispatch. Haught. I have a person trapped in an overturned vehicle at Extinction Corner. Occupant is alive but bleeding heavily. Need immediate assistance."

"Copy that Haught. Will dispatch immediately."

Nicole started to squirm up under the vehicle, desperately brushing away the snow to make room for herself. With the entire upper half of her body under the car, she was able to touch the frigid hand. It immediately clasped onto Nicole's fingers, coating them in rapidly cooling blood. 

Nedley arrived at the scene just after the ambulance. He stood at the crest of the ditch and watched as Nicole stood over the deer struggling weakly in the snow. It could only lift its head and weakly thrash its front legs. Nicole drew her pistol, stepped closer and euthanized the deer. She hung her head briefly, then straightened her shoulders and began to climb up the slippery bank. Nedley reached down to lock forearms with Nicole, helping her climb the last few feet.

Clearing her throat Nicole stuck strictly to the facts, giving a clear and concise report in under 30 seconds. Nedley sized Nicole up carefully, noting the lack of her heavy parka, but satisfied with everything he saw in her face he clapped her on the shoulder and gave it a brief squeeze. "You are relieved of duty for the rest of the shift. Go home and get warm. You can file your report when you get back on duty."

Nicole gave a tight lipped nod and went straight to her cruiser. She barely remembered the trip home, only noticing the storm had lessened when she got home. Locking the front door, she leaned tiredly against it as a small choked sob escaped while she toed off her boots and stripped out of her bloody uniform. Without turning on any lights, Nicole headed straight for the kitchen clad only in her bloody underwear. Shivering steadily she reached above the fridge and pulled down the first bottle of alcohol her hand touched. Foregoing a glass, she carried the bottle into the bathroom. Turning the shower on as hot as she could stand, she stayed under the spray until the water ran clear instead of red. Nicole took the last mouthful from the bottle as she dried herself haphazardly; praying the booze induced burning in her gut would circumvent the tears.

At the end of each night shift Nicole would text Waverly, ensuring her girlfriend she had made it home safely. As she climbed into bed, Nicole realized she had no idea where her phone was and she couldn’t bear the thought of lying to Waverly about how her shift had gone. Wrapping herself around the pillow that still smelled of Waverly’s shampoo, Nicole finally let the tears fall.

When Nicole surfaced in the early afternoon, she had the headache from hell and her body hurt the after effects of half a bottle of Scotch and the awkward position under the Jeep. She found her phone and read through the thirteen messages from Waverly. Torn between wanting comfort but not wanting Waverly to see her like this, she spent at least five minutes starting replies and then erasing them until finally settling on, "Hey Babe. Sorry for not texting you this morning. Had a rough shift. Not feeling all that well, so I'm going back to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow." She added her usual two hearts and the cop emoji.

It was Nicole's last night shift, and as was routine, she was scheduled for desk duty to give her an opportunity to ensure all her reports were completed and filed. The night passed quickly and Nicole was able to leave her desk clear. This time she texted Waverly before crawling into bed and crying herself to sleep again.

"Waverly!" screamed Nicole as the woman herself struggled to get her key into the lock. Her name again tore from Nicole's throat as Waverly ran towards her bedroom, only to find Nicole struggling to sit up, covered in sweat and looking devastated.

"Nicole! I'm here." Waverly climbed onto the bed and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

"Waverly? You're alive?"

"Of course I am. I'm right here."

Nicole swallowed and shook her head, trying to clear the fog of the nightmare. "What..." she cleared the gravel from her throat and started again, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you Baby. What was that?"

"It, it was just a bad dream. I'm okay." Nicole moved out of Waverly's grasp and shuffled back to lean against the wall at the head of the bed.

"Sweetie, let's be honest, you haven't been okay since the night of the storm and that crash."

Nicole avoided eye contact, looking at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. "Sure I have. I've just... just been busy with work."

"You can try as much as you want to avoid this conversation Nicole Haught, but I'm not leaving until we talk about it and why you've become uncommunicative." Waverly crossed her legs and faced Nicole on the bed, placing one hand lightly on Nicole's ankle. Nicole ran her hand through her disheveled hair and then touched Waverly's thigh briefly before snatching her hand back into her lap.

"Waves, I don't want to tell you about it. At the Academy we learned about vicarious trauma. It's what happens to the people who have to listen to first responders' stories. It makes them become victims too."

"Do you think I can't handle it?"

"Of course not! But I don't want to hurt you Waves. It's better if I keep it to myself."

"That's bullshit Nicole. There's no way they taught you that. You'd burn out in no time. What did they tell you to do about it?"

Nicole sighed deeply and dropped her shoulders, "If we need to talk about it, we're supposed to use as few graphic details as possible."

"Tell me Baby. Tell me what happened, why you seem so broken."

Nicole made fleeting eye contact and then looked back to her hands. "I learned some horrible truths about myself. I don't..." A small soft choked noise escaped from Nicole and a tear dropped off her chin. "I'm so afraid to tell you."

"Look at me Nicole." Waverly waited until Nicole's eyes finally met her own. Tears were flowing unhindered down Nicole's cheeks as Waverly took both of Nicole's hands in her own. "What are you afraid of?"

Nicole started to drop her gaze again, but stopped as Waverly tenderly placed a finger under her chin. "Afraid to look into your eyes and see less... and more."

Waverly gently brushed a tear off of Nicole's cheek and took her hand again. "What do you mean?"

"Less of your beautiful light, and more sadness, disappointment, and worst of all, disgust."

Waverly leaned forward and very softly kissed Nicole on the lips. "That's not going to happen Nicole. Please trust me. I've got you. I promise."

Nicole searched her eyes and then gave a tiny nod, shuffling slightly on the bed so she was no longer touching Waverly. "It was snowing so hard I barely saw the vehicle in the ditch at first. I realized it was a red Jeep when I got out of the car. My heart exploded, all I could hear was screaming. It was me. Screaming your name. I.. I thought." Nicole paused and took a steadying breath. "I thought it was you and I fell apart. By the time I slid down into the ditch, I knew it wasn't you, and I could breathe again. The driver was still alive. There was so much blood. I tried to stop it. It was running down my arms, so warm." Nicole started rubbing absently at her forearms, trying to wipe away nonexistent blood.

Waverly captured her hands and kissed them. "And then?" Nicole pulled her hands away to hug herself tightly.

“I told her my name but.... she was crying for her mom. She kept begging me for forgiveness. I didn't know what else to do, so I pretended I was her mom and told her I forgave her and I loved her. And then she died. Just like that." The tears were falling faster now, on both of their cheeks, unheeded into their laps.

"You gave her peace in her last moments Nicole, that's beautiful."

Nicole reached out to wipe the tears from Waverly's cheek but stopped just short of touching her and dropped her hands. "You don't understand."

"Then tell me Baby."

"Cindy was dying and all I could feel was relief." Nicole briefly made eye contact, and then slid her eyes away. "Her family was about to be devastated and I was happy. You were alive and Wynonna wasn't about to be destroyed. I was selfish."

"Is that it?" Nicole's head snapped up and she locked eyes with Waverly. "You somehow think that your concern for Wynonna and your happiness I wasn't dead means there's something disgusting about you? That happiness your loved one wasn't dying means I should think less of you?"

"But I feel so guilty."

"Nicole, you're allowed to have a life. To have feelings. To rejoice that you and the ones you care about are alive. You're human." Waverly again reached for Nicole until Nicole shook her head. Waverly dropped her hands but leaned her head forward, just barely breaching Nicole's personal space. It was enough to trigger the eye contact she wanted. "Tell me about this" she said, motioning to the space between them. "Why won't you let me touch you?"

"I struggled to write a letter to Cindy's family. I started at least fifty times. It wasn't until Lucado came into help me that I could even figure out where to start."

"Wait. Lucado? Our Lucado? The woman who would like nothing more than to bust all of our asses?"

"She's had to give people bad news before, but more importantly, she's been on the receiving end too. I realized how closed off she is. I think she's been hurt so badly she refuses to allow herself to feel anything anymore. And... and I get it now." Nicole tentatively reached out with her index finger and rested it on Waverly's knee. "I'm afraid to touch you Waverly. Because I know, I know you'll touch me back. And. And I want nothing more than to seek comfort with you. To feel safe in your arms. To feel alive."

"But?" Waverly said when Nicole stopped to wipe tears from her own face.

"I'm afraid to feel anything good. If I let myself stop feeling numb, that fear, that despair, that pain when I thought you were dead, it’s going to break me Waves." Nicole bowed her head and waited. Waverly let her forehead rest against Nicole's and ghosted her fingers across the back of Nicole's hands.

They sat there for a few moments, as their breathing synchronized, until Waverly whispered, "Do you trust me?"

"Oh Waves. Of course I do." This time it was Nicole who initiated the eye contact. "With everything I am."

"Then let me touch you. Let me love you. I promise if you break, no matter how long it takes I will put you back together again."

"I'm scared."

Waverly traced Nicole's lips lightly with her index finger. "I know Baby. But I've got you. I'll always have you." Waverly brought her own lips to Nicole's, kissing her slowly and gently, ready to stop if Nicole hesitated.

"Please." Nicole whispered against Waverly's lips. "Please make me feel alive again. I need to feel you Waverly Earp."

"Lay back Baby. If you need me to slow down or stop, you tell me okay?" Nicole gave a tight little nod and slid down as Waverly moved to straddle her, focusing all her attention on kissing Nicole until she finally started kissing back with equal fervor. Tongues and teeth and small breathy moans. She moved down Nicole's neck, kissing and nipping lightly, while running her hands up under Nicole's shirt.

When Nicole tensed and clutched at Waverly's hips with fear and panic, Waverly gentled them and returned to kissing Nicole's lips. When Nicole would finally relax, Waverly started the dance again, slowly gaining ground each time.

It took a long time until they were both naked and Nicole's hands touched Waverly with passion instead of desperation. And finally when Waverly took Nicole over the top to shatter, Waverly's name spilled from her lips with a shout of joy and reverence rather than a scream of anguish.

Reversing their usual post-coital positions, Waverly gathered Nicole to her chest and wrapped her securely in her arms. She could feel Nicole's tears falling softly onto her breast. "Talk to me, please."

"You broke me Waves. But you put me back together like you promised. I feel alive, and safe, and loved. I can't promise I'm healed, but I... I can promise I won't run away from you again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: death of a new character, death of an animal, vicarious trauma, 
> 
> Many health care workers have issues dealing with death and loss at work and then going home to their own lives. They struggle with being happy when others are dying. Or at least I do. It's especially hard when you don't have someone to talk to, or you have someone who won't let you talk.
> 
> Vicarious and secondary trauma are real but not well studied. Sharing the story without the graphic details is one way of protecting others.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought. Kudos are great but comments are better.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
